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Adding Insult to Injury: Unruly Tourists Rate New Zealand 2/5 Stars on Yelp

1/2/2019

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​In what many New Zealanders are considering a final affront to the country they call home, the unruly tourists who made headlines around the world with their uncouth actions have today unveiled 2/5 star rating for New Zealand on review website Yelp.
 
“I liked seeing the Hobbits village,” began the review.
 
“But everywhere else was a huge let down. The beaches were covered in trash, the food we were served was full of crap like ants and human hair! DISGUSTING!”
 
“The worst part was that the locals were so unfriendly! Not at all like my mates in the caravan parks back home! Won’t be returning in a hurry!”
 
When polled in the street, many New Zealanders put this top of their lists of things they found offensive about the traveller tourists.
 
“It’s like they haven’t even taken the time to check out our beautiful scenery! New Zealand is so much more than a film franchise!” said one man.
 
“I could understand them shoplifting a Christmas tree, rope and some Red Bulls, but leaving a bad star review on our country – our HOME – is unforgivable! Bring them back to New Zealand just to throw them out again!” said one woman.
 
The Beehive has released a statement today, saying they had reached out to Yelp in an effort to get the slanderous review taken down from the site, and would update us once a conclusion had been reached.
 
New Zealand currently has a rating of 4.83/5 on Yelp.
 
More to come.
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