American pastor applauded for sexually harassing person over age of consent

In the aftermath of the funeral of ‘The Queen of Soul’, Aretha Franklin, and the assault that took place against pop singer Ariana Grande, many voices have spoken out against the offending figure: American pastor Charles H Ellis III.

However, in an interesting turn of events, several voices have spoken in praise of the under-fire clergyman, namely around his decision to blatantly sexually assault a person over the legal age of consent.

“I can hardly believe it... waking up to story around a church sex scandal that DOESN’T involve little children?! Are we living in some far-off, wacky alternative dimension?!” said one Twitter commenter.

A church spokesperson said that the brazen and disgusting assault was part of an attempt for the church to rebrand itself after years of being ‘tarred’ with the ‘pedophile’ label.

“Obviously, a leopard can’t change its spots – and we certainly won't lift a finger against the leopard – but we can certainly colour in the rest of the leopard so it blends in a little better with the other sex offenders”.

“LEOPARDS! I meant to say leopards!"

“It’s going to take the church, as a whole, a while to get out of these old bad habits.”

“Baby steps, y’know? Mmmm... babies...”