 In tragic news from the anime community, it has been revealed that the anime character Nate Mitotsudaira has tragically passed away overnight, crushed to death by the weight of her own hair.
Mitotsudaira, a half-human, half-werewolf student of the Musashi Ariadust Academy, was found in her bed yesterday morning, after having inadvertently rolled over in her sleep and the sheer weight of her hair popping her head ‘like a grape’. Her friends and family lovingly described her as a ‘wonderful side character’ with ‘hair like actual goddamn drills’. They went on to add, “Seriously?! Motherfucking DRILLS?! God is dead. He’s dead and we killed him. With our hair-drill bullshit”. This isn’t the first hair-related medical emergency in the anime community, with several other cases of sprained necks reported, as well as three cases of characters nearly gassing themselves to death with various hairsprays and chemicals. Mitotsudaira's death is expected to increase calls on the government to introduce a total ban on anime. |
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