Applicant swears undying fealty to providing excellent customer service to ungrateful idiots

As a way of separating her job application from hundreds of others, local woman Jess Beale dropped to one knee and pledged an undying oath to provide a wonderful level of customer support to the masses of ungrateful idiots she’ll encounter on a daily basis.


“I know it’s just a job in fast food, but I REALLY need the money. Hopefully if I tell them I LOVE helping hungover idiots feel less crap on Sunday morning, that’ll put me over the edge and get me the job”.


Beale, 25, is currently studying for a PhD. at Otago University, and said that she felt as though the process for applying for minimum wage jobs was ‘more intense’ than any pressure she’d undergone as a student.


“Jesus Christ, it’s giving greasy food to greasy people, all on minimum wage, too! I shouldn’t have to be going through all this rigmarole, but here we are!”


Coming out of her interview with the manager, she reflected on her interviewing style.


“I hope my ‘enthusiasm’ face wasn’t too over the top – my cheeks started to ache after 5 minutes of smiling like Willem Dafoe”.


“But hey, I wore a clean top and had my shoes on the right feet... I’m quietly confident I’ll get the job”.