​A big ‘SPOILER ALERT’ for all you superhero-obsessed moviegoers out there, but we HAD to celebrate the release of Marvel Studio’s record-breaking new film, ‘Avengers: Endgame’.
 
And for those among us who have seen this three-hour epic, you’ll know there’s a certain character reveal that really tops anything the franchise has done before!
 
I’m talking, of course, about the show-stealing Shrek cameo, featuring the lovable green ogre, along with Princess Fiona, Donkey and Puss in Boots all joining the fight against the ‘Mad Titan’ Thanos.
 
Although many fans were shocked to see Thanos brutally decapitate Donkey onscreen, it certainly added to the high-stakes action they have grown accustomed to.
 
And what fan didn’t celebrate when Shrek donned the infamous Infinity Gauntlet, snapped his fingers and destroyed Thanos? I’m sure the line he uttered while doing so will live on in fans minds for years to come – ‘Get outta ma swamp!’
 
While some critics have questioned the Russo Brothers’ decision to include an extended dance party immediately afterwards, it was clear to many it was the right choice to make.
 
As for the controversial end credits scene, I, for one, am certainly excited to see how the team at Marvel Studios will incorporate the suggested presence of Batman into future films!
 
One thing’s for certain – ‘Endgame’ certainly was Marvel-ous!

A South Africa-based charity dedicated to ensuring the survival of the world’s rhinoceros’ population has today revealed they have accidentally been supporting and funding rhino poachers and trophy hunters since their 2011 inception.
 
“Sooooo, it turns out that every dollar we have collected over the years has gone into funding various groups of poachers and their efforts to hunt rhinos into extinction,” said ‘HornyBois’ founder Dr. Julius van der Kempfen.
 
“I’d like to take this opportunity to say, ‘My bad’. I really dropped the ball on this one”.
 
Van der Kempfen went on to add that their highly effective fundraising techniques and high level of public support had meant the remaining rhino population was most likely affected ‘beyond repair’.
 
“We’ve raised SO much since we started, and we thought we were really making a difference. Turns out, it was just a difference in the wrong direction. Again, reaaaally sorry about this, everyone.”
 
Representatives from HornyBois went on to add that not everything was their fault.
 
“I mean, some of the groups we were supporting had really confusing names!”
 
“We only just figured out that a local group we helped support, ‘Rare Rhino Lovers’, was actually referring to how they liked their Rhino steaks cooked, not referencing their dwindling numbers in the wild”.
 
Despite the bad news, van der Kampfen was optimistic for the future.
 
“It’s really unlikely that we’ll make the same mistakes with elephants”.

New records have been set in the Auckland housing market today, as an auction of a child’s drawing of a house reached more than $1 million before being sold to an anonymous bidder this afternoon.
 
The sketch of the two-floor house has been the subject of intense speculation over the last several weeks, with representatives refusing to confirm reports of a bidding war going on behind the scenes.
 
“It’s a very nice drawing,” said auctioneer Francis McLaren. “Most of the lines are straight, and there are some very pretty flowers outside, too!”
 
“It’s the definition of an investment property”, said the unnamed auction winner, clutching his latest portfolio addition to his chest.
 
“We’re already looking at our opportunities for it down the line.”
 
“In the next year or two we might sketch a picture of a pool in the corner, and we’re already getting estimates from landscapers to draw some nice bushes out front. That’ll really create a nice atmosphere!”
 
Experts are already warning that the housing market is showing no signs of slowing down any time soon.
 
“It’s going from ‘Crazy’ to ‘Absolutely Unhinged’ out there,” said property expert Julie Hamer.
 
“We’ve already seen people place multi-million-dollar bids on games of Housie, box sets of the medical drama ‘House’ and literally throwing bundles of hundred dollar notes at children playing 1-2-3 Home”.