 Waking last night in a cold sweat surrounded by newspaper articles, printed-off blog posts and opinion pieces, local woman Alex McDermott concluded she could no longer differentiate between the ‘tongue-in-cheek’ satirical news articles and ‘honest-to-god’ actual reporting.
McDermott, 26, is the latest victim of what several psychiatrists are calling ‘News Dissociative Disorder’, or NDD. “Things could certainly be a lot worse – especially if you’re an avid viewer of Fox News or you put credence in anything Mark Richardson says,” said Dr Vinay Patel, an NDD expert. “With some of the crazy crap that’s going on in this world of ours, it definitely is becoming harder and harder to separate fact from fiction.” Dr. Patel went on to describe a new coping mechanism his team had developed to help sufferers cope with the effects of NDD. “We call it the ‘Trump Test’, and it’s basically where whenever you hear a news report about anything the current American President has said or done, you say to yourself ‘This may or may not be truthful, but I’ve got a million better things to do than worry about anything he gets himself into’”. “So far, we’ve seen participants experience lessened stress levels and increase their overall happiness levels. I think we’ve found a cure”. Other experts suggest the effects of NDD can be lessened by putting your damn phone down once in a while. More to come. |
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