According to reports, local band ‘The Mercy Killings’ are on the verge of splitting up, sparked mainly by bassist Jon Greaves decision to never look at the camera for photos.
In a statement released on his social media today, Greaves said “bands need the talented guy to NEVER looks into the camera! It’s Music 101, really.”
“Looking away to something vaguely in the distance is so rock n roll! In some ways, it’s almost more important than playing the actual instruments!”
“Look, U2 has Bono and Train has that guy with the melted face. THEY don’t look into cameras, and they’re bands that everyone loves and respects for their art and image. Coincidence?”
“I’m not saying I’m the next Bono, but I’d like to think that some people out there will be saying that for me.”
While other Mercy Killings members have yet to release an official statements, drummer Al Park said to reporters that he hoped for a swift resolution.
“God, why did he have to look away from the camera? Everyone knows you have to start with small stuff, like wearing capes, or scarves in the summer.”
“Plus, he’s the fucking bassist.”