A South Africa-based charity dedicated to ensuring the survival of the world’s rhinoceros’ population has today revealed they have accidentally been supporting and funding rhino poachers and trophy hunters since their 2011 inception.
“Sooooo, it turns out that every dollar we have collected over the years has gone into funding various groups of poachers and their efforts to hunt rhinos into extinction,” said ‘HornyBois’ founder Dr. Julius van der Kempfen.
“I’d like to take this opportunity to say, ‘My bad’. I really dropped the ball on this one”.
Van der Kempfen went on to add that their highly effective fundraising techniques and high level of public support had meant the remaining rhino population was most likely affected ‘beyond repair’.
“We’ve raised SO much since we started, and we thought we were really making a difference. Turns out, it was just a difference in the wrong direction. Again, reaaaally sorry about this, everyone.”
Representatives from HornyBois went on to add that not everything was their fault.
“I mean, some of the groups we were supporting had really confusing names!”
“We only just figured out that a local group we helped support, ‘Rare Rhino Lovers’, was actually referring to how they liked their Rhino steaks cooked, not referencing their dwindling numbers in the wild”.
Despite the bad news, van der Kampfen was optimistic for the future.
“It’s really unlikely that we’ll make the same mistakes with elephants”.