Dunedin scraps new hospital plans, will now build second stadium

​In a surprising turn of events, it was announced today that plans for a new Dunedin hospital would be scrapped ‘immediately’, and instead a second stadium would be built in its place.


Dunedin mayor Dave Cull said in an announcement that after a series of council deliberations, they had unanimously agreed that Dunedin ‘would be better off with a second stadium’.


“Besides, we already have a hospital”.


While little is known about the new stadium, it is understood that it will both be built at the site of the old Cadbury’s factory and will also be sponsored by the confectionery giants.


“The new Cadbury’s Stadium will be so beneficial to Dunedin – not only will it boost the city’s profile amongst New Zealanders, but it’ll also allow us to keep manufacturing Cadbury’s products exclusively for sale during matches and concerts”.


When questioned about the state of Dunedin Hospital and healthcare in general, Mayor Cull said “we feel as though seeing more quality sports matches, concerts and events will help EVERYONE feel better!”


“The entire facility will be wheelchair accessible, so anyone and everyone will be able to attend, no matter how debilitating their condition!”