Jacinda Ardern to be named new Black Caps coach

In a surprising announcement this afternoon, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has been named as new Black Caps coach, taking over from Mike Hesson, who stood down yesterday.


“As soon as she found out that Mike was leaving, Jacinda had her coaching portfolio assembled and in front of us immediately,” said NZC CEO David White.


“We must say, her background is astounding.”


“Not only did she have a glittering indoor cricket career in her youth, but she also runs the whole country. It’s a record like that that you can’t ignore.”


When asked how she planned to juggle running the country, raising a child and taking on her new responsibilities with the Black Caps, Ardern said “if I can manage Winnie and the bloody Nats, I’m sure I can take care of eleven cricket nerds”.


As a symbol of her devotion to the new role, Ardern has said that she plans to name her child ‘Brendon McCullum’ if it’s a boy, or ‘Thighpad’ if it’s a girl.