Local man eats dozen Happy Meals, still sad

Reports are just coming in now that a local man who ate a dozen McDonald’s Happy Meals in a single sitting is ‘still sad’.


Henry Thompson, a local builder, ordered the takeout via UberEats late Saturday afternoon while home alone in bed with his laptop, marathonning early episodes of The Simpsons.


“I was just looking to kill some time really... You know, that awkward bit between Friday evening and Monday morning.”


“I’ve got to say, though... It wasn’t the worst way to spend 45 minutes. I got a couple of sweet toys from the Hotel Transylvania set, so that’s kept me busy a bit, too.”


“I was really hoping to fill a void in my life, but I’ve barely filled the void in my stomach, to be honest.”


Thompson has stated that he hopes next weekend will be a little more fun.


“I’ve heard there’s a few parties going on around the place. I might go to one or two of those and stand awkwardly at the back until I get the feeling everyone’s looking at me, then I’ll leave.”


“It’s good to have something to look forward to”.