On a note pinned to his latest victim, the serial killer known as ‘The Bloody Blade’ has come out strongly against American president Donald Trump’s policy of separating the children of illegal immigrants from their parents and, on occasion, storing them in cages.
“LOOK, I OBVIOUSLY DON’T CLAIM TO BE PERFECT,” said the note, scrawled in the victim’s blood. “BUT I FEEL AS THOUGH THESE POLICIES WILL ONLY HURT THE MOST VULNERABLE IN THIS SITUATION: THE CHILDREN.”
“IS AMERICA NOT BUILT ON THE IDEAS OF LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS?! YOU CAN’T BE TOO HAPPY TRAPPED IN A CAGE! (TRUST ME, I KNOW THIS.)”
A Police spokesperson released a statement today, saying they’d love to discuss Trump’s policies and their overarching effects in greater detail with the Bloody Blade, if he’d like to pop in for a quick visit.
“There’s certainly plenty to discuss!”
The police are now awaiting a response from the Bloody Blade, who is expected to reply in his usual format; with a trail of disembowelled and decapitated corpses.
“As far as methods of communication go, it sure beats trying to start World War III over Twitter!”