Ministry of Health unveils new ‘organ hire’ policy to replace transplant lists

​The Ministry of Health have today unveiled their bold new plan for addressing the shortage of available organs and surplus of patients needing transplants – an ‘organ hire’ system that will see multiple patients share the same transplanted organ on a rostered basis.


“Simply put, there’s no way we can permanently provide organs for those who need them, on a permanent basis,” said Associate Minister of Health, Julie Anne Genter.


“However, by installing a roster where two or three people can share the transplant, then all our problems are solved! We won’t have to worry about an organ shortage when we can simply share them!”


According to initial reports, each organ recipient will have use of it for a maximum of five days at a time, with special dispensation granted for events like birthdays, weddings and funerals.


“We’re hoping that everyone can get along when it comes to sharing, but we aren’t anticipating any major issues along the way.”


This announcement comes after another Ministry of Health proposal was scrapped, that, according to reports, would have seen patients train at Medical School and diagnose their own ailments.