Dunedin Underground Free Press
  • Home
  • Headlines
  • Contact

Ministry of Health unveils new ‘organ hire’ policy to replace transplant lists

29/7/2018

Comments

 
Picture
​The Ministry of Health have today unveiled their bold new plan for addressing the shortage of available organs and surplus of patients needing transplants – an ‘organ hire’ system that will see multiple patients share the same transplanted organ on a rostered basis.


“Simply put, there’s no way we can permanently provide organs for those who need them, on a permanent basis,” said Associate Minister of Health, Julie Anne Genter.


“However, by installing a roster where two or three people can share the transplant, then all our problems are solved! We won’t have to worry about an organ shortage when we can simply share them!”


According to initial reports, each organ recipient will have use of it for a maximum of five days at a time, with special dispensation granted for events like birthdays, weddings and funerals.


“We’re hoping that everyone can get along when it comes to sharing, but we aren’t anticipating any major issues along the way.”


This announcement comes after another Ministry of Health proposal was scrapped, that, according to reports, would have seen patients train at Medical School and diagnose their own ailments.
Comments

    Archives

    April 2020
    February 2020
    December 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed


​FEEL FREE TO ANONYMOUSLY ABUSE US OVER THE INTERNET

Photo used under Creative Commons from mikecogh
  • Home
  • Headlines
  • Contact