In a statement released today by CEO Reed Hastings, Netflix has asked all clients to “please remember to rewind the show or movie they’ve just finished watching”.
The surprising request came after Hastings revealed the streaming giants had teams of employees working “around the clock” to reset the progress of each movie and show prior to the next viewer queuing it up to watch.
“As you can probably imagine, it all takes a toll on them when they have to constantly keep taking episodes of ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’, ‘Stranger Things’ or ‘Daredevil’ back to the start every forty minutes or so”.
“Even on 30x rewind, we’re losing precious seconds”.
Hastings went on to explain the methods that Netflix had used in the past to buy time in between streams.
“We made the decision to label the rewind time as ‘buffering’, when really, there’s no such thing. We also chuck in a ‘Connectivity Issue’ or two to buy us those extra seconds, sometimes”.
“But seriously, we’ve got guys developing Carpel Tunnel here. It’s hardly a new mantra: ‘Be Kind, Rewind!’”
“People don’t seem to realise that we’ve only got, like, three or four copies of each episode or movie – and most of those are DVDs!”
“We started off as a DVD company, and by god, we’ll die as a DVD company”.