Oh God: Dave’s a ‘Hats’ Guy Now

In what some experts are already declaring a case of an early-onset midlife crises, local man Dave Hawkins has taken to wearing hats, seemingly as a fashion accessory.


The addition of hats to Dave’s wardrobe marks yet another manifestation of his clear self-esteem issues, stemming from the end of his long-term relationship earlier this year.


After getting several tattoos and taking up his ‘calling’ as a ‘lifestyle guru’, it’s now become clear that he still has a long way to go on his ‘personal journey’.


At the time of reporting, friends had yet to comment on the presence of the new accessory, but sources from a private group chat have revealed several less-than-complementary comments.


“I see someone’s seen half an episode of Peaky Blinders”.


“Didn’t realise Dave was auditioning to join Mumford and Sons!”


“I bet that asshole will start wearing scarves soon, too”.


Groupchat members went on to agree that they would intervene if Dave began to pose a larger threat to his image as a ‘dorky, yet well-meaning guy’.


“I will hit the roof if he starts doing stuff ‘ironically’”.