Proctor of Otago University, Dave Scott, has today announced he will be leading an elite squad of highly-trained commandos and mercenaries to further combat the spread of the dastardly chronic among Dunedin students.
Scott, who rose to national prominence after showing extreme levels of bravery in the apprehension and destruction of several reefer-injection implements, says he’s prepared to go to the ends of the earth if it means the innocent students of Otago University are free from the intoxicating power of jazz cabbage.
“It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make,” said Scott in a statement made this morning.
“I’ve assembled a team of a dozen battle-hardened soldiers from around the world, and we’ll be patrolling the mean streets of North Dunedin, battling the many violent and aggressive pot-heads and weed-slingers that pollute this great city”.
“Mark this day in history, Dunedin! You’ll no longer have to fear falling under the influence of any dank kush or nuggs of skunk weed – me and my boys are on the case!”
Unfurling a banner with the group’s name, ‘Weed Whackers’, Scott went on to reveal more details about his mission.
“We’ll stop this evil deader in its tracks than Bob Marley!”
“At the very least, we’ll probably just expel some kids for having some on them and chuck them in prison for a while. Problem solved!”
“Remember - say ‘Nope to Dope’, kids!”