With his foot planted firmly on the accelerator and middle finger raised in anger, local man Derek Rose hoped any glimpse of the ‘absolute fool’ he could get would be enough to confirm any of his underlying biases against anyone who wasn’t a young, white guy.
“There was a fair bit of glare on the window, so I couldn’t quite see if they were some chick or an Asian dude, but shit, man, they definitely drove like them!”
Rose, a 32-year-old unemployed builder, has had his own driver’s license suspended several times since starting driving, but that doesn’t stop him having strong views on the future of New Zealand’s roads and those who drive on them.
“Bloooody foreigners! Over here, killing OUR people on OUR roads! We were killing our own people on our own roads for years!! Just another example of this limp-wristed Labour government!”
“And don’t get me started on females or the elderly!”
At the time of reporting, Rose driving himself to his local WINZ office to collect his latest unemployment check, narrowly missing hitting several pedestrians and cutting off at least three other cars.
“Look at this moron... doesn’t even know the bloody road rules! Place your bets: old, Asian or a woman??”
“Oh shit, it’s a bloke like me... Must just be heading home after a hard day’s work.”
“Onya, mate! Have a beer on me, bro!”