National's Deputy Leader Paula Bennett has today confirmed that her recent ejections from Parliament were not politically motivated, but rather part of her new weight-loss and exercise plan.
“I know it sounds unorthodox, but the results really speak for themselves,” said Bennett. “I’ve covered a lot of ground these past few days!”
“I’m feeling great... I’ve really got that satisfied spring back in my step! You know, the kind that normally comes from cutting social programs or drowning puppies, things are great!”
Bennett denied any link between her fitness regime and a rumoured snubbing from 2018’s season of ‘Dancing With the Stars’.
“They wouldn’t know good dancing if it smacked them in the face, anyway! I swear half of them are just a bunch of stupid little girls!”