A new study released today by the Dunedin Institute of Satirical Sciences has revealed that people who take the time to like, share and comment on satirical news articles are generally more attractive, well-rounded and virile lovemakers.
“Oh yeah, definitely,” said lead researcher Dr. Henry Adams.
“I swear, it seems as though as soon as they leave their first ‘like’ on an article, they’ve already lost the double-chin, and by the time they’ve tagged in a mate or two, they’ve gained an inch or two where it counts, if you know what I mean.”
DUFP reporters can confirm we do, in fact, know what he means.
The report went on to suggest that following a decent number of satirical blogs on Facebook could soon replace regular trips to the gym, as participants showed a decrease in blood pressure and cholesterol when they shared articles to their news feeds.
“We’re still finding new benefits to consuming these blog posts, so stay tuned,” added Adams.
“Our team is actually on the verge of confirming a link between satirical news and developing a natural immunity to the common cold!”
At the time of publishing, the entire team here at DUFP headquarters would like to add that you’re looking really good right now, and we really like what you’re doing with your hair lately haha.