While Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern is off on six weeks of maternity leave, acting Prime Minister Winston Peters has immediately made his mark on the position, throwing a seven-day party to kick off his tenure in the Beehive.
According to receipts dug from the trash, Peters alone consumed several bottles of single-malt whisky and multiple cartons of his favourite ‘Dunny Blue’ cigarettes before collapsing into his chair for the night.
Sources from within Parliament have reported that the clean-up has begun, with Peters frantically running around the Beehive, shoving empty bottles and cans into side rooms and broom closets while also opening windows to empty the ashtrays.
Green Party leader James Shaw was reportedly in tow, sorting out the trash into recyclable piles of glass and aluminium.
“He could at least TRY to separate the glass into different colours...”
Peters was last seen ordering a Rug Doctor over the phone, while organising the day’s agenda.
“And can someone tell that Garner prick that I’m far too hungover for his bullshit this early in the morning.”