At a nationwide summit of car manufacturers today, CEOs from all major car brands announced their plans to unveil a new design of car headlights designed to completely and permanently blind all other road users.
“It’s been a long time coming,” said a Hyundai representative. “But we’re proud to finally be able to unveil these new lights that will completely and utterly blind any poor bastard you come across on the road.”
“Previously, we had several other models of headlights on the road that would slightly inconvenience oncoming drivers, maybe force them to squint, look away or hold their hands to their eyes.”
“But this new model really cuts to the chase - our top engineers and scientists believe that even a few seconds of exposure will leave permanent damage to the average eye.”
According to industry insiders, the new headlight model is planned to be released by October this year, and should give dickheads a few weeks to get them installed on their cars just in time for the Christmas holidays.
More to come.