World officially out of names for bands

In a shock announcement, the World Council for Music (WCM) has today confirmed that the world has officially run out of band names. The announcement came as a five-piece indie rock group from New York took the name ‘Allegory Allergy’, taking the last free band name left in the world.


“It’s come as a complete shock,” said WCM President John Phelan. “Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine that we, as a planet, would run out of band names to use.”


“We should have seen it coming, really. When we saw names like ‘Xxxtentacion’, ‘Imagine Dragons’ and ‘Snail Mail’ reach fame, we should have realised we were dealing with a very limited resource.”


As a direct result of the announcement, governments around the world are today putting legislation in place that will ration and redistribute any band names deemed to be ‘too long’, ‘overkill’, or ‘just plain douche-y’.


The Australian Government made their announcement at a press conference, where they revealed that local popular pop-rock group ‘5 Seconds of Summer’ would be sharing their name with another local group, with both bands becoming ‘2.5 Seconds of Summer’.


The New Zealand government has yet to make any such announcement, but early reports are indicating that Sol3 Mio would be ‘franchising’ out their name, adding ‘Sole M1o’ and ‘2ole Mio’.